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ELRETH

Elreth had woken after sleeping that afternoon and finally felt hungry. She\'d headed to dinner assuming Aaryn would be there. But he was nowhere to be seen. She wondered what had kept him, but hoped it was that he was visiting his mother and could eat with her.

Elreth was still exhausted from the hangover—and the events of the morning—but at least she didn\'t feel sick to her stomach anymore. She enjoyed the smoked meats and fruits served in the market, barely listening to the conversation Huncer and Gwyn were having with each other from either side of her, until she heard Aaryn\'s name mentioned.

"…only two more days. Without a father to guide him, I hope Reth has taken a hand in Aaryn\'s education on these matters. It would not do well to have our Queen\'s first experiences be boring. Or worse, unsatisfying."

Elreth almost choked on her beef.

Gwyn gave her a quick look from the side. "I\'m—I\'m sure he\'s fine," she said awkwardly.

Elreth\'s stomach plunged to her toes.

Gwyn knew, she realized, just how "fine" Aaryn was… and was trying to be considerate. Huncer didn\'t know that Gwyn and Aaryn had mated, was likely trying to tease Elreth. But… Creator, no. She couldn\'t have this conversation now. Not with Gwyn.

And yet, a tiny part of her was insanely curious—at the same moment her jealousy spiked.

She knew Aaryn hadn\'t truly enjoyed the encounter. He\'d felt uncomfortable afterwards and told Elreth he\'d regretted the choice. But the way Gwyn\'s cheeks were coloring—and the way she\'d pursued him for more than a year afterwards—Elreth suspected she had enjoyed herself far more.

She wasn\'t sure whether to high five Aaryn, or slap him. Probably both.

Her skin crawled, even as her memories flashed on the ways he\'d touched her, the way her body lit up for him and—gah! Had she done those things to Gwyn? This was horrible!

She stared down at her plate, utterly uncertain what to do, while Gwyn buried herself in her plate, keeping her face so low it almost touched her food.

Huncer, meanwhile, kept grinning at Elreth. "You cannot tell me you have not… enjoyed some private time with your mate, Elreth. Do you have any questions? Is there anything that we could help you understand? I know your parents are quite open about these things, but everyone\'s experience is different. I would be happy to offer the wealth of my knowledge, and I\'m certain Gwyn would—"

"That really won\'t be necessary!" Elreth leapt in—at the same moment, Gwyn squeaked, "I\'m certain you would be the better person to speak with El."

Elreth looked at her friend, who stared at her with wide eyes, clearly fearful of her response.

It hit her then that this would sit between them for the rest of their lives if she allowed it. That she and her friend would never find comfort together unless she let it go. Even before she\'d wanted Aaryn for herself, she\'d been uncomfortable with Gwyn\'s attention on him.

For a moment Elreth stared at her plate too. She didn\'t want to release Gwyn from this. Didn\'t want her friend to think that she was comfortable with it. That it was a good thing.

But when she looked at her from the side, it was clear Gwyn was deeply uncomfortable.

While Huncer stared at her expectantly, Elreth knew she had to make a choice. And that if she didn\'t, she and Gwyn might never find their way back to the friendship they\'d shared years earlier.

She had to choose… hold onto the thing her friends had done when she hadn\'t been involved with him at all… or let it go?

She knew what her mother and father would tell her. She knew what the Creator would say.

Elreth took a deep breath. She spoke to Huncer, but her words were for Gwyn.

"My Mate has had a great deal more experience than me, and not all of it good. But it has… educated him, as you said, Huncer. Between us there is something I don\'t understand. A connection. A fire. I\'ve never experienced desire before him, so I can\'t speak to it. But he says… he says it hasn\'t been this way for him before. I have to trust him." She swallowed hard. "I do trust him. I… choose to see his previous encounters as… as part of his past. Something that I will benefit from, clearly. But I do not wish to dwell on it, or question it. There\'s nothing good to come from that. It\'s only something that made him who he is today, and I love him. That\'s… that\'s all I can do.

Huncer tipped her head and looked at Elreth curiously. "You don\'t resent the females that he\'s previously mated? I know True Mates often do."

It was the question of the hour, and the glint in Huncer\'s eye may Elreth wonder if perhaps she was far more aware of what pot she was stirring right now than Elreth had thought—but also that she did not intend to hurt. Huncer\'s face was gentle and earnest, urging her forward.

Elreth swallowed. "No. I have… I have decided to believe him that those encounters are in the past, that we have something special between us. And that I do not need to fear his desire for others. Or their temptation to him. He… he says he has never wanted anyone the way he wants me. And I believe him."

Her cheeks went hot, but she kept her shoulders back. She was not ashamed of this. And though it may hurt Gwyn to hear, it was also necessary, she thought, to set the boundary. To draw the line.

"You are truly blessed, El," Gwyn said quietly. "I have been with only a few males, but none were my True Mate and even when the… encounters were positive, they have not found that connection for me. I pray one day the Creator will reveal my True Mate. I pray I have one."

Elreth turned to her friend and her heart went out to her. Gwyn looked suddenly very lonely. "I will pray that with you," she said quietly. "I would want that for you."

Gwyn gave a lopsided smile. "Thank you. I don\'t know how being a Cohort will help in that area, but I suppose you never know. Or perhaps it is not meant to be."

"We\'ll find out together," El said, swallowing a pinch in her throat.

Gwyn\'s eyes became shiny as well and she squeezed Elreth\'s hand below the table. "Yes, we will."

Elreth made a little noise and threw her arms around her friend, and they hugged.

Huncer snorted behind her and muttered about "Emotional young females," but when Elreth turned back to her, blinking away tears, Huncer\'s eyes were also a little red.

Elreth held her gaze for a moment, then mouthed, "Thank you."

Huncer nodded.

Then they all turned back to their meals, and their thoughts.

Only Elreth was no longer hungry, but not out of ill feeling or fear. Instead, she ached for her mate. She needed to find him. She needed to be close to him. And she decided she didn\'t care if that looked weak to others. She wanted to be with him. Right away.